Reaching Out and Up

Here I am, at times thinking about how to reach out, how to make contact, how to tap my own reservoirs of possibility.  It is actually quite amusing when ... Boing! There it is!  

I reach.  I program myself to have the courage to step forward.  So my mind writes and writes.  But til I get the pen in my hand or the computer begins to arrange my streaming words onto my screen, I have a kind of angst.  When I finally get myself going, there is action that simply moves through to the next phase of myself.

I wonder how long I spend proportionately, wallowing around in not knowing.  Amazing!  Too long.

I see in my mind’s eye, that wonderful little dimensional proboscis, the greater visions of my purpose, the trailing aspects of my karma and fears of other people that seem to keep my brakes on, and in front of me I see possibilities.  Sometimes they are vague and unlikely but are brighter.   I present.  I am a speaker.  I am in a relationship in which we truly honour one another’s unique creative flair.  And beyond, I thrill to the tremendous love beyond this dimension, I treasure my job of helping others and creating and outreach as they be come themselves. 

Then my visions drop back down taking their places in my smaller self, my three dimensional purposeful angst keeping bills paid and the IRS and trying to figure out who to trust on every level of society.  This is quite the little pot of chili we live in!

Regarding trust I find in myself a fascination that while I wobble round on what is possible, what is important, and on which focus I hang my thoughts, I see that the trust begins with me.  Can I trust myself to push through, to iron out the doubt wrinkles that inspire my greater integrity?  Can I find that place inside in which I can count on the real me – the me with my purpose? 

That is the place that takes me into my grandest fulfillment.