Looking back
at my “relationship ladder” I am grateful I have grown through my expectations,
or my clutching at relationship to keep my self esteem tidied under a “belonging”
or “identity” label. My Guides often say
when we look back at old relationships, just love one another. I mean we did experience love. Does it have to go away entirely in the face
of disappointment?
The rocky
road of clients separating or divorcing one another, hurts as they squabble
over children or material safety, some men still often getting the higher share
of spoils while women boldly leave just wanting to get free. So many women plunge into the economic
despair of low-end jobs or any jobs they can find – relieved to be able to
support their children even though it is hard.
I have known many to say that they just wanted to be free. But in our world freedom still needs money. And the children sometimes are bounced
between accusations and vengeances.
We haven't reached the evolution of a matriarchal society with the focus on raising our children as humanity’s future. Yet we start out in love, then getting married
or having children, putting our partners in a revered position in the basic
structure of our lives.
I wonder
what would happen if we did honour them?
Even if they are broken and leaving is the only way to become
whole. What would happen if we looked at
them and revered who they are in essence?
I wonder. I mean, instead of
trashing one another in the heart of our pain.
Most of the pain comes because we have the illusion of the picket fence,
the safe haven, the forever love. Sometimes it is because we can’t unfold or
become more of our true nature in the forever-after context. The controls and competitions are too
great. Or in some cases, whether from
the abuses or even the empathy, couples can be locked in limitations. You have to leave to grow.
But what
would happen if in the process of sorting through our pains we just loved one
another? Would it help our children grow
into self reflecting people with compassion and understanding for others? Would it help us find peace on the
planet?
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