The Style of our Birth is How We Make Our Transitions

Taken from my book, My Near Life Experience, the forward.

Here is a fun concept. Often, it is said that the style of our birth is how we make our transitions, big and small, in life. My birth challenged my young mum.I hung around in her womb hinting     that I was almost ready to be born, but I just wouldn’t let go.

Finally, Mum, starving, ate a hearty dinner therein
Saint Vincent’s Hospital in Vancouver. And in minutes,I popped out. “You made me vomit my dinner!”she would storm when I would be running through the kitchen underfoot, moving way too quickly for her to catch.

Always the disrupter when truth remained unspoken and silences weighted the atmosphere—that was me. With sudden and dramatic changes consistent throughout my life,I continued to birth more and more new phases of self. Wandering. Wondering.Vague. Just wouldn’t let go. Then finally, sudden changes express themselves — changes that might startle my friends,but changes birthed from as low crock pot or a kind of womb in the nether reaches of my mind.

Taken from my book, My Near Life Experience, the forward.

I always wanted to write.  I couldn’t.  There was a banging in my head as if there was a wall or a membrane around my desire.  I couldn’t break through it.  and I just knew I couldn’t be a writer.  That was for other people.  I just seemed to daze over, stand back and observe through the haze of that daze, that there were things I wanted to do.  But they seemed to be for other people. My zest for experience  was on the back burner as I vacillated between being kind of depressed and dull, passive and weepy, or acting out, taking over a room, being entertaining, dancing, singing.  I had lots of friends til my 30’s when life’s various machetes and some of my trance was hacked away by experiences like loss, followed by  boomerangs of rage, mistrust, fear, but they were vital feelings.  They were my feelings. All of  them sent me back into my haze purposefully to parse it for something.  But for what?  Wisdom?  Possibiiliy?   Actually, for me, the real me.  A me that now loves to write, writes for release not for that challenging back board in my head, and writes to weave self with inner peace or to relinquish the urgencies of how and who to become. You know the externally designed ones.

A me that discovered a metaphorical or energetic membrane -like series of containers that defined me and many others as I banged into them, my limitations of self expression.  It seemed that there was no way out  There is.  We just need to break out. 

I am so grateful for the – as I call them – machetes of life’s experiences.  The disappointments, frustrations, failures, losses of people I loved, reforming what love truly is, and other gifts I discovered in my own tool box of potentials for creativity that were slumming inside my trances.

Seek & Ye Shall Find

I knew I needed a filmmaker, some peace, some water.  Down the hills of Echo Park, meditating as I walked, I felt the pieces of my new life, changes strewn throughout my schedule, jostling one another like puzzle pieces to assemble a plan.  The tiny lake sparkled in the sunlight, peddle boats calling me.   Time on the water.  I signed up. 

I  promised not to be rowdy, to jump around in the flat bottomed boat.   “Buckle your life jacket.”   I climbed into my boat an off I peddled. “Have a peaceful trip”  he called.   Hmmmm, I thought.  “Unusual and kind fellow.”  As I peddled on I heard music, turned  and looked back.  There he was on the dock playing his accordion!   For me I thought.   As we docked we chatted.   “What brings you to LA?”  “I’d like to explore doing television.”  He responded “My friend came to shoot a documentary and I hope to work with him.”   “Maybe he would work for me a bit.” I said thinking Youtube.  

“He’s pretty busy  but I would.”   “My work is spiritual” I said giving him the option to turn away.  “Oh I follow Alan watts, Eckardt Tolle, Abraham and other ones.”  He noted some of the greats.  Maybe we could do some perkier ones!

And so we are.  Mostly refining our skills.  He in his mid 30’s.  Me in my 70’s.  The parfait of our personal journeys birthing ideas and youtubes.  And it is fun. 

I love how much life contributes - magically and with humour – IF I let myself welcome its offerings.

The First Steps to Clearing Negative Energy in your Body

Snippets of Life

I look over the balcony on a hill in Echo Park.   The view from my air bnb is brocaded with homes, large and small, old and new, cascading down the hillsides, sporadically shaded by trees.  On a distant hill there sits famous Hollywood sign.   Fascinating sentinel.  In the early mornings I walk down the mile-ish hill to a coffee shop or maybe down one of the long long staircases, computer bag over my shoulder, to take my place at a tiny table, one of the many that are filled with writers of books, movie scripts, fantasies, studies, jasmine tea in little pots steaming beside me.  I choose between several different coffee places within walking distance.

As I walk I meditate, usually with a chant inside myself, breathe deeply.  The day bursts into my writing fever, little stories, plans for radio or television, now that my first book is done and how to get that “out there”.  The embryo of my second book grows. 

Oddly I have always found writing was hard for me.  It pushed at my head and my heart but often felt like it was stuck inside a locked box somewhere.  In past lives I am told,  I was killed for my unusual ideas.  This life I am aware that as if having membranes round my will, my words, my desires, I have had to break open before I could flow.  It’s a lot like learning to channel.  And it became easiest in a neutral place, a coffee shop or deck where I can cogitate and not be distressed by the domestic duties that call me.  I write now when it is flowing, in a state of Being the writing for the hour or so before I return to do my treasured work.  

A few months ago I finished my first book that way.  Wherever I had little periods of time between work, writing in restaurants in Bellingham, Costa Rica, Vancouver, Portland – wherever my travels have taken me at the time.   I treasure my morning escapades.  I treasure the respect of the creative spirit nurtured by the communities in these little cafes!

How to Release Stored Negative Energy In Our Bodies

My Near Life Experience has been released!

 Read an excerpt of my new book, My Near Life Experience by clicking on the bookcover.